Looking for my voice
People are often consciously asking for advice when they come to see me for therapy.
Jung amusingly states "the last thing people are looking for when they ask for advice, is advice".
A person I was recently sharing a space with, or more to the point, sharing our minds with each other, was frequently looking to build their assertiveness. After many sessions we finally laughed kindly at how their definition of assertiveness was wrapped up in their idea of their brother, who they both loved and were exasperated by.
"But how can you move towards his definition of assertiveness when you are so mocking of it".
Ambivalence is a deep thread in Dynamic and Analytic thought.
This week we took a different angle. Rather than trying to build the strength to be bolder in tone, as their brother does. We looked at how they could be assertive in receiving compliments. To make eye contact with the giver of a compliment, to say thank you, to describe some of their strengths they used and finally to make clear the compliment is valued.
